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CSR: Salutations and greetings, this is Poindexter III.
I am busy
working on a quantatative formula to impress my girlfriend right now,
but I guess I can take a minute to help you. What do you want?
Customer: Yeah, I am trying to install Grynux Slickware 2.03a
on my
486. I am having some problems with it to compile the kernel
correctly.
Pointdexter III: What BIOS do you have on your system?
Customer: AMI version 1.00.05dat BIOS ID A01-XE222-8888
Poindexter III: Ah, the February 1996 AMI BIOS on the Xenos
motherboard, I see you have upgraded from the 1.00.03aac BIOS ID
A01-XE158-8888 that came on that system. That is a hard motherboard
to
find.
Customer: I know. It took me a while to find it. It
is part of my
extensive VLB motherboard collection. I have another one I bought
at
the same time that I did not do the BIOS upgrade on so I would have
one
that still is cherry.
Poindexter III: Do you have the Donavan Understudies DIMM board?
It
was the first motherboard that incorporated DIMMs, and it had VLB also.
It is one of the rarest finds.
Customer: NO unfortunately not. I saw one once at at the
"Grand-Techno-Geeky show", but have never foudn a seller of one of
those
boards.
Poindexter III: Oh, BTW, clock down the processor speed by one
notch,
and get the Grynux patch version 2.05bga and that should fix the
problem.
Customer: Thanks alot!
<click>
________________CALL SEPERATOR________________
Pointdexter III: Konichiwa, you just interupted my studies on
Teach
Yourself Japanese in 21 Days, this had better be good.
Customer: Uh yeah, like I need to like get my computer working.
Poindexter III: Excuse me sir, can you tell me what type of computer
you have?
Customer: Um, I think it is a Mini-Tower computer. That
is what the
sales guy said. Hey, he said I could play my music cd's in here,
is
that true? I want to listen to them loud.
Poindexter III: That is correct sir, but your music cd's are going
to
need to be converted to fit into the computer.
Customer: Well, how do I do that?
Poindexter III: You know where the ashtray holder is on the computer?
Customer: Yeah man, I see that.
Poindexter III: Right underneath there is a slot that is about
3 or 4
inches wide, depending on how well you can read a ruler.
Customer: Yeah I see that.
Poindexter III: Well take a hacksaw and cut the music cd down
to fit in
that slot. It will play automatically.
Customer: Cool! I wondered whtat that slot was for!
will it play
loud?
Poindexter III: Tust me, the moise it will make will make you
very
excited.
Customer: Rad man, thanks alot!
Poindexter III: No Problem "Dude", anything to help.
<click>
<hysterical laughter>
________________CALL SEPERATOR________________
Poindexter III: What do you want?!?
<click>
________________CALL SEPERATOR________________
Poindexter III: Hello?
Customer: Is this where I get my computer fixed?
Poindexter III: No, that number changed, call 1-800-555-1212.
Customer: Okay, thanks, sorry to bother you sir.
<click>
________________CALL SEPERATOR________________
Poindexter III: Good morning, how can I format you today?
Customer: No formats please, I need help getting this program
working
that I just got from the "Nerd-Geeko-Romma" store. It is a Steller
Stuff version 4.95 rev b. I am running a Makeway 2001 dual Pentium
200
with SCSI Ultra Fast HBA booting my Seegreat 10.5GB harddrive.
I have a
SonicBoom 128 PCI video card with the 4MB upgrade. Running a
Mitsubashingtonwakashi CD-ROM drive. Do you need to know what
I have in
the startup files?
Poindexter III: Nah, I had that same problem on my machine, you
just
need to edit the SETUPTHISPROGRAM.INI and put in the [options noone
but
nerds know] section and put in the line: "processors=2x200"
Customer: AH! I had considered that, but was not sure on it. Thanks!
Poindexter III: No problem.
Customer: Oh! Darn it!
Poindexter III: What is it?
Customer: Aw Man, I gawd a nose bweed.
Poindexter III: Okay, you are going to have to find some tissues
and
block the flow of blood.
Customer: Ok, I god some dishues, I am bwocking da fawoe of bwood now.
Poindexter III: Now you need a wet washcloth and put it on the
back of
your neck.
Customer: A washcwodth? Okay, led me go do dee badroom and
ged one
from dare.
Poindexter III: Okay, as soon as you have a washcloth, let me know.
Customer: Awridet, I hab a wadsh cwodth now. Whad now?
Poindexter III: What type of washcloth is it? What does
the lable say
it is made out of?
Customer: Id is a coddon derry cwodth.
Poindexter III: Cotton terry cloth? Are you allergic to cotton?
Customer: I dink so.
Poindexter III: Drop the cloth, see if you can find one that is
polyester.
Customer: Ok, I dink I foud one. Led me sheck. Yes, id is
a
dollyesdar. Whad now?
Poindexter III: Goto the sink and run cold water over it and the
place
the cloth on the back of your neck and tilt your head back.
Customer: Ok, I god it awe wed now. I am pwacing id on dee
back of my
neck.
Poindexter III: Did you tilt your head back.
Customer: Yesh, I god my hed tilded back.
Poindexter III: Okay you shouwd be awe-wite now. Oh do!
I god a nose
bweed doo!
<click>