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Jack (CSR): Hello, You have reached Gateway 2000, can I help
you?
Customer: Yes, I am having a problem with my computer, I am getting
divide by zero errors
when I try to shut down Windows 95.
Jack: Hmm, has it always done this?
Customer: No, it just started it recently. At first it happened
only every so often, now it
does it every time.
Jack: Hmm, I see. It sounds like it is a terminally progressive
error. It would be best to
unplug the machine. You will not get the error again.
Customer: Is this my only option?
Jack: It is the best option I would have to say in my professional
opinion. Otherwise your
computer could suffer slow and eventually complete data loss.
This way you can prevent this
corruption of your machine.
Customer: What other options are there? A friend told me
something about a video driver
problem, could this be it?
Jack: I have seen this many times before. Poking and prodding
around with video drivers would
only aggravate the condition. It is best to unplug it.
Customer: Okay, if that is the best thing for it.
Jack: It is. Trust me, it is for the best.
<click>
---------------------------- Call Separator ----------------------
Jack: Hello, You have reached Gateway 2000, how can I help you?
Customer: Yeah, I keep getting a Utopia.dll error when I try to run MS Bob.
Jack: Utopia.dll you say? Hmm...
Customer: What? Is it serious?
Jack: I am afraid so. Bob has caught the Utopia virus.
It is a terrible virus that usually
invades a computer through Bob first. For Bob it is a very painful
affair having this virus
invading through it.
It is always fatal to Bob and then eventually it is fatal to the
computer.
Customer: How could I have gotten this Utopia virus? I don't
download software, I am not on
the Internet and I only installed the games you sent me.
Jack: It could have been dormant in the harddrive waiting to be
activated. I would suggest
uninstalling MS Bob to put him out of his misery and then unplugging
the computer to prevent the
computer from suffering through it.
Customer: Well, this started when the computer recently got trapped
in dos and another
technician there had me rename my autoexec.bat and config.sys to get
back out. could that
have anything to do with it?
Jack: No, I don't think so. In fact, getting stuck in DOS
mode is another symptom of the
progression of the Utopia virus. I would not give Bob much longer.
It is best to go ahead and
uninstall him and then unplug the computer.
Customer: Could I talk to another technician about this? I want a second opinion.
Jack: Do you want Bob to keep suffering?
Customer: Um, well, no.
Jack: Then do it with post haste!
Customer: Okay.
Jack: It is for the best.
<click>
---------------------------- Call Separator ----------------------
Jack: Hello, You have Reached Gateway 2000, how can I help you?
Customer: Yeah, I think I just talked to you a minute ago, I have
the computer with the divide
by zero error. I wanted to make sure that unplugging it was the
only way to fix the error. I
went in and changed my video driver and I am not getting it now.
Is it fixed?
Jack: You did what? Has it crashed yet?
Customer: Has it what? Crashed? You mean it is going to crash?
Jack: You should have unplugged it. No matter now, since
it has not crashed yet we still have
time.
Customer: Time?! Time for what?!
Jack: We must put the computer out to prevent any more damage
to it. Quick, go gather up
these items: a screwdriver, a large metal bowl of water, and
a cord off of a radio.
Customer: Huh, For what?
Jack: We haven't time to dilly dally around, just go get them, and hurry!
Customer: Okay!
<sound of phone being dropped and a bit of rattling around.
Some water running in the back
ground.>
Customer: I got them, now what?
Jack: Put the bowl of water on the floor, take off your shoes
and socks and then put your
feet in the bowl.
Customer: Huh, What is...
Jack: Time is wasting, just do it. I want to make sure that
you are well grounded for what we
have to do.
Customer: What do we have...
Jack: Do you have your feet in the water?!
Customer: No. Not yet.
Jack: Well hurry!
<splashing sound>
Customer: Okay, my feet are in there.
Jack: Okay open up the computer with the screwdriver.
<short pause>
Customer: Okay got it. What next.
Jack: Okay, see the silver box in the corner of the case?
Customer: Should the power be off for this?
Jack: No, Then we would not know if what we are doing is working.
Do you see the silver box
in the corner of the case? There are a bunch of wires coming
out of it.
Customer: Yeah, I see them. What do I do?
Jack: Dip your hands in the water bowl so that they will
be grounded too, then grab the wires
and pull.
<a splashing sound then a short yelp from the customer>
Customer: Ow! I got shocked by it!
Jack: You are not grounded enough. Quick take the cord and radio cord and plug it in.
Customer: To the surge protector?
Jack: No, directly to the wall. The wall outlet is grounded better.
Customer: Okay it is plugged in.
Jack: Now drop the loose end of the plug into the water.
Customer: Huh? What will that...
Jack: The outlets on your walls are grounded right?
Customer: Uh, yes...
Jack: Then by connecting up to the outlet you will be grounded right?
Customer: Uh, I guess...
Jack: Then drop the loose end of the cord into the water.
Customer: Uh, Okay...
<A slight splash sound followed by a large amount of screaming then silence.>
<click>