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CSR: Thank you for calling Air Support, My name is Huey, how
can I help you?
Customer: Yes, um, I am a, um stewardess, and uh, like the pilot passed out. What should I do?
Huey: Ma'am?
Customer: Yes?
Huey: First thing I need you to do is stay calm, can you do that for me?
Customer: Yeah, I guess.
Huey: Next thing I need you to do is land the plane. Once you do that you should be fine.
Customer: Oh! is that it?
Huey: Yes, just land the plane and everything will be much better.
Customer: Oh! Okay, thanks!
<click>
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Huey: Thank you for calling Air Support, my name is Huey, how can I help you?
Customer: &#$%! The &%$# plane is on fire! We are all going to &^&%$# die!
Huey: Sir? I am going to have to ask you to refrain from
that kind of language. If you continue like
that then I will be forced to terminate the call.
Customer: &^%%^ you! The plane is ^&$%$! going to crash! What the &%$**! do I do?!?
Huey: I warned you sir.
<click>
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Huey: Thank you for calling Air Support, my name is Huey, how can I help you?
Customer: There are not enough pedals.
Huey: Excuse me sir?
Customer: There is only one pedal, and it is not labeled either
right rudder or left rudder so I do not
know which side to put it on.
Huey: Sir? Does this pedal have a couple of buttons on it?
Customer: Not sure, let me check... Yes, there are two buttons on it.
Huey: Does the pedal have any labeling on it?
Customer: It has something about the tensile feel of it on here.
Huey: Pardon?
Customer: It says Microsoft, though to tell the truth, I think
that is not so true, this is a pretty hard
pedal.
Huey: Sir, pick up the pedal and put it on your desk. You
are at a computer, not flying a plane. That
pedal is called a mouse.
Customer: Hmm. That might answer my next question about
why my view port was so small.
<click>
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Huey: Thank you for calling Air Support, my name is Huey, how
can I help you?
Customer: Yeah, Uh, this is Captain Jim Slugovitz of the ValuJet
Zeta Bravo Five Niner Echo. We have
a bit of a cabin fire here and I was wondering what I should do.
Huey: Jim, what I am going to need you to do is check the storage
box down to your lower right, under
the central control panel.
Customer: Okay, got it. what do you want me to get out of here? <screaming in back ground>
Huey: There is a Users manual there in the box. Get it out
of there and read it. I believe chapter 17
covers cabin fires and what to do.
Customer: My co-pilot just burned up and the manual is on fire.
I don't think I am going to be able to
read it. Is there another copy of the manual around here?
Huey: No, Sorry Jim, that was the only one. I think you are going to have to wing it.
Customer: Nuts! Okay, I will see what I can do. Say
would you know a way that I could easily
extinguish my feet?
<click>